Out: Conyers — In: Er… Conyers?

**Written by Doug Powers

After facing multiple harassment allegations and getting caught settling complaints with taxpayer money, Rep. John Conyers has decided he’s had enough of “public service” at this time. But, as Motor City Monarchy rules require (see: Dingell, John & Debbie), a family member has been chosen as his successor pending voter approval, which is as sure a thing as the Lions not making it to the Super Bowl:

Rep. John Conyers, D-Mich., is expected to announce Tuesday that he will not seek-election in 2018, ending his run as the longest-serving House member after allegations of sexual harassment, according to a report published Tuesday morning.

“He is not resigning. He is going to retire,” state Sen. Sen. Ian Conyers, the grandson of the congressman’s brother, told the New York Times. “His doctor advised him that the rigor of another campaign would be too much for him just in terms of his health.”

Ian Conyers, 29, will run for the seat in an attempt to keep the district in the family.

Conyers was elected way back when Detroit had more than twice the number of residents it has today, and the kind of “leadership” he (and his wife) provided apparently deserves another few decades, or until there’s nobody left in the city, whichever comes first.

**Written by Doug Powers

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