Horrifying Tales From the Safe Space, Part 1: Trump Elected, Mental Breakdowns Detected


**Written by Doug Powers

My working theory is that the election of Trump was nothing but a massive plot by campus psychology offices to justify big boosts in funding needed in order to counsel traumatized whiffle-esteemed rose petals who feel crushed by the weight of the real world.

Case in point, Stanford University following the election of Donald Trump:

The session the other day was canceled after counselors enlisted the assistance of two therapy dogs named Cashew and Pecan, but an anti-Trump student with a nut allergy freaked and threw the guy who wets himself whenever he hears the word “yuge” out a window.

Here’s a good one:


This is a remarkably impressive composition — it isn’t easy to write while sucking your thumb hunkered down behind a makeshift barricade of Chipotle bags and tear-stained “Stronger Together” posters:

My kid went to bed believing in the best of America,” wrote one of my friends. “I can’t bear to wake him up.”

That could be said of many disbelieving supporters of Hillary Clinton. America has elected Donald Trump as its next president. And the question that has surfaced across social media among so many who voted for Clinton – besides “How did this happen?” – is what to tell our children.

I’m guessing “distract by telling them man-made climate change is just a progressive money-making scheme” is out of the question?

Get a load of this one from the Boston Globe:


I don’t remember similar concerns for the mental health of conservatives and Republicans after the election of Obama.

But wait, there’s more:

In other parts of the country, celebrations may be under way, but for many in Massachusetts, the shock of the 2016 presidential election is nothing short of traumatic, according to several psychologists. Mihalko likened Trump’s election to the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, in the way it changed the world and made many feel unsafe.

That’s strange, because I feel most “unsafe” when we have ISIS running rampant, Russia getting bold, Syria a mess and Kim Jong Un testing nukes like Wile E. Coyote on a coke bender all while our nation’s leaders are freaking out about air conditioners. Great, now I need a shrink.

**Written by Doug Powers

Twitter @ThePowersThatBe